This is my personal bio for my live journal which I wrote... so if you havn't read it, read it. It's good to read.
I am Scott. Scott am I. I enjoy many things, pie being the biggest. Today I am the oldest I have ever been, and I hope on living forever. I loathe llamas because of their double l's. Pie is good, potatoes are good too. I would include a list of things that I find good, but I don't want to.
I shall now indulge you in a story I have written five minutes from now.
Lets start at the beginning shall we? Yes, well in the beginning there was nothing, an absolute lack of anything, I think this is the time I was popped into existence but I can't remember because there was no memory at the time, a few millenia passed (when a millenia was still only a few minutes long) when I came onto the idea of Ideas. It was quite revolutionary at the time so i decided to tell all my friends, which consisted of a penicl box (which i had spawned out of good faith towards writing utensils) and a big black void. Neither of them talked much so i spawned an idea in front of my, little did I know that what i had actually done was created a galaxy (which i at the time called a carrot for lack of a better word). I mulled around the galaxy for quite some time wondering if a little club soda would get it out, then wondering what club soda was, then wondering what 'it' was actually in so i could get it out of it, and then wondering what wondering was. I decided to put it in my 'to think about box' but i hadn't thought of that yet. Anyways, I have this galaxy on my hands, quite warm and tiny, although those concepts hadn't even come to be yet. I set the galaxy down to the right of my nothingness and promptly begain work on a typewriter (inexplicably creating various forms of sentient life and the such). Rather disguested at my blatant lack of disregard towards the human race (which was another accident which resulted in my loss of a perfectly good pencil box). So here i was, sitting up in nothingness, trying to spawn a companion, I tried a fish first they weren't much fun kept complaining how it needed water or something, dreadful creatures. I tried making water the next day because the fish had this really high pitched voice that hurt my ears, (which i had made too, on accident when trying to devise the question mark) but I failed miserably too. Something briefly flashed into existence and I had no idea what. After a few millenia i saw it flutter past again, it was a platypus, a platypus riding on an egg shaped piece of bran. I was bewildered (which happened every once in a while). I was getting rather tired of this whole 'making things appear' business and i decided to try to clean up my little universe and hide it in a nap sack. I first had to make a nap sack. That, my friends, is one of the MOST difficult things I'v ever attempted to do. Needless to say I set the human race back quite a bit with the whole nap sack epidemic, to think They might have perfected interstellar flight if i hadn't made my napsack. Anyways I put the galaxy into my napsack and shook it. I gave it a rally good shaking and then i poured it out. Low and behold I had a shiny new type writer. I sat down and began typing (I didn't know what I was saying until i realized I had no ribbon) angry with myself I decided to start anew. I picked up my foot (another unfortunate invention) and tried to absorb it through my ear. Well I finally achieved self absorbtion and i went infinately small. It was quite disconcerning and my ears are still ringing from it.
To make a long story short, just read the outside book flaps (and a word to the wise, this next paragraph will contain nothing by nouns, maybe an adjictive here or there, rarely a verb, but it's still good reading).
Turtle pie, lincoln potato cardboard green face. Listening prince evil llama loaded liberally print. Thumb gun radish, yellow upside twenty noodle fist flat gardener; pickle bucket crunchy red. Monkey twice sauce listen bowl brown cake.
Anyways I'm here now, on earth due to some wierd series of events, i have perfect recollection of what has happened, what is happeneing and what will happen, yet my feeble human brain continutes to try to comprehend it and all that my ears and eyes recieve are flashes of great brilliance in the shape of rectangles with only two sides. Now for those of you who say rectangles cannot have two sides I say, you have never pressed your foot against your ear so hard that your next door neighbor tells you to turn off that noise. In conclusion I would have liked to have said this has been fun writing and I shall bequeath upon thee all the information you desire, but instead I'm going to conclude this with the word " " [warning your feeble human computer may not comprehend the awe inspiringly awe-ness that is of the word " "]
In conclusion... " "
